Mother's Day Gifts

Before 8am this morning, I had changed a diaper, wiped a butt, and grounded a 5 year-old. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

My husband told me I had to relax and stay in bed while he took our three kids to get my mother’s day latte. I obliged. But it felt bizarre. Laying in bed while there was laundry to be done and beds to made? I forced myself, though, because I didn't want to disappoint the kids when they got home.  I just laid there and made a mental list of all the things I needed to do.

When I got the all clear, I came down stairs to a kitchen table piled with thoughtful gifts and an empty room.  Josie and Owen jumped out from under the table and screamed, “Happy Mother’s Day!” If I could have wrapped that moment up in a box, it would have been the second greatest mother's day gift that I’d ever received.

After I opened my presents, Josie and Owen started arguing over who picked out what.  Owen had a meltdown when he realized Josie picked out everything.  I immediately put my gifts aside and tried to momentarily raise Owen’s self esteem and keep Josie’s in-check.

My husband offered to skip his Sunday run, which is tantamount to him giving up air – a very sweet offer.  His support makes me a better mother.  It’s his day too. 

So while he ran, I made the beds, vacuumed Emily’s trail of goldfish, and explained to Josie and Owen why hanging on the cords to the blinds was not a good decision. Then, I put on a show.

For a moment, they were all occupied - a rare trifecta. I sat down to finish my lukewarm latte.  My mind wandered to where it has gone every mother’s day for the last 5 years.  I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.  Am I really a mom, celebrating mother’s day with 3 wonderful children?  I remember how convinced I was this day would never come.

Each mother’s day, I think back on the moment when the young doctor, new to Radiology  told me the chemotherapy I’d had at 19 might make it difficult, if not impossible, for me to have children.  He wasn't even my doctor.  He stammered nervously after he told me - like he was shocked to have been the one to break the news.I was shocked too – my cancer wasn't anywhere near my reproductive organs.  What was this doctor talking about? Then, I remembered the day we discussed my treatment plan, when my oncologist talked about the toxicity of all the chemo drugs.  The side effects that all sounded like blah blah blah because I didn't want to hear any of them.

Fast-forward 14 years. I am sitting on a kid stained couch near a pile of toys next to three kids who call me mom.  That doctor was wrong.  But, without knowing it, he gave me the greatest mother’s day gift I've ever received. He gave me perspective.

He made me appreciate every second of motherhood. He made me appreciate the loads of laundry, the diaper changes and the stress that seems, like children, to grow each year.

On Mother’s Day, I think what I want to do most, are the thankless things that mothers do.  Because having children and being a mom are the gifts that I can't take for granted.