Thursday, May 16, 2013

Happy Birthday, Sad Mommy

didn't have a big 1st birthday party for my third child, Emily. I am not a big birthday party kind of person. My own birthday is in July – I have fond memories of sharing pizza and pool time with the few kids from the block who weren't on vacation  It was simple. But still a celebration.Another reason for not having a big party is that we are trying to save money for a house. Its shocking how quickly a first year old’s birthday party can become a car payment or two. Less is more, I decided.

Perhaps, the real reason I didn't have a big bash is that Emily had her laser treatment on Wednesday and her face looks bruised and swollen for a week or so after treatment. I just didn't want to have a party, with lots of people and lots of pictures, when my sweet Emily wasn't looking her best. She looked beautiful. But still not her best.

Looking back on my last baby’s first birthday, I wish I had thrown a huge circus theme party, with clowns, elephants and giant trapeze. I wish I had booked The Fresh Beat Band and flew in Barney on a private jet. Because the huge party would have distracted me from the sadness I couldn't shake all day. My baby, my last baby, was turning one, which really meant she wasn't a baby any more.

My advice for busy moms with more than one child who are contemplating how to celebrate their last child’s first birthday is to pull out all the stops. Leave no corner undecorated. Leave no treat unfrosted. Leave no second uncelebrated.

Because the day isn't just the end of your baby’s first year – it’s also the end of you being a mom to a baby.  And diaper changes, late night feedings and spit-up stains aside, being a mom to a baby is definitely something to celebrate. Especially on the last day you will ever get to be one.

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